Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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