No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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