i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
