her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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