Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
