i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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