As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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