anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
