he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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