Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
