After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize