I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
