I skipped work to stalk him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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