so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
