you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
