Where did you get a picture of my penis
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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