i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
