Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I've blown a few things in my day
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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