Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
