hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
