marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
