you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
