I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
