Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
