he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
