thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
