Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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