Little spoons don't ask big questions
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All the doctor said was why
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
