Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
