none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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