Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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