based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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