the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
