her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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