hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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