I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
