You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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