I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
is it fun? or sober?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
