Redeem this text for a blowjob
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
