So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
