that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize