its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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