THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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