Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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