this just has baby written all over it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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