I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
