That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
