I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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