....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
