just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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